BabyChatter Ezine Archives
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BabyChatter Ezine
Baby Names, Baby Freebies, Coupons & Offers, &
Parenting and Baby Information
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December 29, 2000, Issue 5
Teri Hanson, Editor, info@babychatter.com

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IN THIS ISSUE
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=> Welcome
=> Sponsorship Notice
=> Freebies
=> Special New Year Feature Article
=> How to Be Featured as our Guest Columnist
=> Advertisements
=> Subscribe/Unsubscribe information

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WELCOME
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Welcome all new subscribers to the BabyChatter Ezine!  Wow!  We have a lot
of new subscribers!  For those of you who have been around awhile, thank
you for being a member of our free newsletter.

We want to wish you a safe and Happy New Year!

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SPONSORSHIP NOTICE
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FREEBIES
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FEATURE ARTICLE,
LET'S MAKE 'NEW' NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS
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It is nearly time to start thinking about New Year Resolutions. Perhaps a
little bit early, but the resolutions I have in mind may involve a little
more time and effort than usual.

Personal New Year Resolutions seem to have become rather pointless. After
all, we resolve to do something worthy and spectacular practically every
day. We are constantly urged to think positively, eat properly, stop
smoking, exercise regularly, ditch emotional baggage, cast off toxic
friends, think ourselves thin or rich - in fact the list is endless.

And none of these vital and life motivating resolutions can be shelved
until the end of the year. They must be acted upon at once - which
necessitates a whole new approach to the New Year variety, to ensure that
yet another of our entrenched and much-loved traditions is not left,
biting the dust.

Instead of limiting ourselves to our own, boring, old resolutions we
should now decide what other people should resolve to do - preferably on
our behalf. And this is where the extra time and effort comes in, because
we must now persuade, badger or bludgeon family and friends, even
governments, into accepting that what we have resolved for them is, in
fact, the right and only thing to do.

My now adult children can, for instance, resolve to no longer entertain
their dinner guests with ever more hilarious tales involving parental
abuse. In a world where a headmistress appears in court for 'tapping' an
unruly pupil, and a mother can be cautioned for remonstrating with her
daughter, these far-fetched claims are no longer funny. (I am sure we only
forgot to collect them from school once or twice. Not every other day.) My
dogs can resolve to desist from knocking me over or down the stairs
(having already proved beyond a shadow of doubt that I do not have
osteoporosis).

Hillary, the female St Bernard, can start the year on a high note by
giving up the mind games she plays with the collies - because their
miniscule brains can't take it much longer. I am more than tired of having
to escort them past Hillary, when she is in playful mood. It is also
tedious having to rescue them from her jaws when they once again fall into
the trap of trying to take the food which Hillary has been pretending she
is not going to eat.

That's all I can think of at short notice. There's sure to be more - my
husband for a start - but one mustn't be selfish. These new-look
resolutions can and should be applied on a far broader scale.

Do you think there is the slightest chance of persuading the Queen of
England that she should 'keep' PM Tony Blair permanently in the Tower of
London - after she has banned soccer and the matching hooligans as well?

The next US President (yes, there is going to be one) could perhaps be
cajoled into being quiet, respectful and considerate for a long period
because we have all had a gut full of political utterances. He could also
gain great favour with decent people if his first act in the New Year was
to outlaw all Democrats and Republicans. (He can get around to the Greens
and the Reform Party later.)

There are a number of things I would like South African President Thabo
Mbeki to do, but I'll settle for a moratorium on all talk of HIV-AIDS,
racism, and the African Renaissance. While the most sensible thing
Zimbabwe's President Robert Mugabe could do, would be to disappear without
a fuss - and for good. After all, he needs a rest.

I can see all this is going to take time - and boundless energy. So don't
delay, start today, but be sure not to exhaust yourself completely.

Without a doubt someone is going to come up with a simply ridiculous
suggestion/resolution for you to adopt and you must be strong and fit
enough to settle their hash. - quickly.

Copyright 2000 Sheldene Chant

ABOUT THE AUTHOR SHELDENE CHANT, an experienced editor and feature writer,
also publishes the fortnightly ezine, POIGNANT PEARLS & POTBELLIED PIGS.
To subscribe go to
<http://www.topica.com/lists/pearlypigs> to read back issues. 

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This publication is copyright (c) 2000 BabyChatter.com, White Plains, MD, USA
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