BabyChatter Ezine Archives
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BabyChatter Ezine
Baby Names, Baby Freebies, Coupons & Offers, &
Parenting and Baby Information
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June 14, 2001, Issue 29
Teri Hanson, Editor, info@babychatter.com

By subscription only! Welcome to your next issue of
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IN THIS ISSUE
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=> Welcome
=> Sponsorship Notice
=> This Week's Freebies, Deals and Fun
=> Feature Article:     "Becoming Real to the Children in Your Life"
=> How to Be Featured as our Guest Columnist
=> Advertisements
=> Subscribe/Unsubscribe information

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WELCOME
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Welcome all new subscribers to the BabyChatter Ezine!  For those of you
who have been around awhile, thank you for subscribing to our free ezine.

Check out our reading room if you haven't done so.  You'll find really
good articles on parenting and pregnancy. 
http://www.babychatter.com/readingroom.html

You may view all archived ezine publications of the BabyChatter Ezine at:
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SPONSORSHIP NOTICE
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If you would like your site listed here, our advertising rates can be
found at: http://www.babychatter.com/ezine.html
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FREEBIES, DEALS AND FUN
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Find out why people are banking their baby's cord blood.  It can save your
life!  Check out why you shouldn't throw away your baby's umbilical cord.
Get a free information kit and a FREE Baby Planning Web-CD.
This is very interesting information and well worth getting!
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Save for college for your child for free! This excellent site helps you
prepare for college by getting you started with a FREE and easy college
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AND $10 in the new member's account! Don't forget to enter for the free
college scholarship!
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Sign up for the Welcome Addition Club and get free formula, coupons and
plenty of great information.
http://www.welcomeaddition.com
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Sign up for the Pampers mailing list and get great money saving coupons
for Pampers products and get free samples too.
http://www.pampers.com/
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FEATURE ARTICLE
Becoming Real to the Children in Your Life
By KellyAnn Bonnell, MA
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Becoming real to a child means that you have made a significant
impact in their lives.  It means you are an individual with whom the
children in your life feel safe and loved.  You are a person in their
lives who will be there not just during the good times; and you will
love them even when they make mistakes.  Becoming real to a child
does not mean you have to be their biological parent or even the
person they live with.  You become real when you have meaning for
them.

A couple of years ago, I had the opportunity to attend a Male
Involvement conference in Phoenix, Arizona.  The keynote speaker was
a man who has done groundbreaking working in the field of
fatherhood.  One of the most powerful statements he made was in
reference to children without fathers in their lives.  He said that
children without fathers will always find a someone put in the role
of their father.  Children will always find someone in their life to
look up to whether that person is a teacher, an uncle, a coach, etc. 
I believe this is true of both parents.

I lost my mother when I was fourteen years old.  I lived with my
stepmother and siblings while my father was out of the country in the
military.  I "adopted" the parents of my best friend in high school. 
At thirty-two, they are still "mom" and "dad" to me.  They are the
parents I turn to in time of gladness and sadness.  I found a set of
parents in the absence of my own.  Children will always find
someone.  Let it be you.  Become REAL to the children in your life.

So what is a real parent?  Am I a "real" parent because I am home
when my children get home from school?  Are you a "real" parent
because you coach little league baseball?  Is a parent any less
a "real" parent because he/she works outside the home?  What makes us
real parents?

Just as in anything, we, as adults, have certain preconceived ideas
regarding what it is to be a parent.  We form these ideas from our
childhood experiences, good and bad, from media representations of
parents and from the models we have seen throughout our lives.  We
may or may not have expectations of being the kind of parents that
raised us.  In any case our ideas have the potential to help or hurt
our relationships with our children.

Our children are not us.  They do not have the same expectations
about parents that we do.  They have certain fundamental needs for
nurturing and guidance.  They have both a desire and physical need to
be loved.  It is our job to help them become successful adults who
will contribute to society.  Whether we do that the way our parents
did or did not do that for us doesn't really matter to our children. 
When they become adults, they just care that we have done our job as parents.

I asked my son what made a mommy or a daddy a real mommy or a real
daddy.  He responded that he didn't know.  I asked him to think about
it for me.  I'll let you know if he comes up with a definition. 

So how do we parent for the future while remembering the child of
today?  We have to become real to them under their definitions.  We
have to be there for them when they need a parent, we have to respect
them, accept them, encourage them, and love them.  We have to be
honest with them.

This article is brought to you by MyParentCoach.com. 
MyParentCoach.com delivers professional, one-on-one parent education
and support to parents wanting to improve their relationships with
their children.  You can visit us on the web at
http://www.myparentcoach.com.
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ADVERTISEMENTS
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Want to know the gender of your baby?  Try out the free Chinese Genderpredictor!  
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DadMag is an excellent site for Dads.  Great information for Mom's too.
Check it out!
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If you would like your site listed here, our advertising rates can be found at:
http://www.babychatter.com/ezine.html
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This publication is Copyright (c) 2001 BabyChatter.com, White Plains, MD, USA
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