By Sarah Veda
It’s a novel concept, isn’t it; somebody taking care of you? Well, that somebody ultimately has to be you, and I know how it is, you’re way too busy taking care of everybody else to give yourself any time. But, let me tell you why you have to take care of yourself, and give you some ideas as to how to do accomplish this monumental feat.
You’re the Mom – and if you’re out of commission, everybody suffers If you can’t manage to take care of yourself, for yourself, then take care of yourself for everybody else! A well-rested, happy Mom is much more likely to have happy, thriving children. If you’re tired, or you haven’t had an adult conversation in weeks, it will start to show. You’ll be grumpy to say the least; at worst you could be downright dangerous when doing something like driving a car. A frazzled Mom is no good to anyone.
How you treat yourself is how you’re teaching your children to treat you If you never let your children see that you have needs, or that you take the time to meet those needs, you’re teaching them that you are, indeed, a doormat, and should be treated as such.
Ok, so now you know you need to take care of yourself, physically and emotionally, but how do you make it happen?
Start with your calendar
Put some appointments in it that will let you have some time to yourself. You choose the activities that will soothe your soul, but whatever they are, make time for them. A few hours a week devoted to something you love other than your family, will help keep you refreshed and feeling like your old self.
Ask for help
You know by now that men are different, right? Well, one of the ways they are different is that they don’t mind telling their partner what they need. And they expect the same from us. If you need your husband to plan to watch the baby for three hours every Saturday so that you can have some time to meditate, vegetate, shop, whatever, you need to tell him. He’s not going to come up with that idea on his own, but if you tell him what you need, he’s likely to oblige.
Make friends with other women in the same boat
There is no substitute for a girlfriend who understands. If you’re a stay at home mom, find some others to hang out with. It may mean some company for you and a play date for your child at the same time. If you’re a working Mom trying to juggle everything, hook up with some other working Mothers to talk things through. It works wonders to know you’re not alone. Plus, you might get some valuable ideas for handling some of the issues you face.
As the Mom, you’re really the heart of your family. Your well being translates into everyone’s well being. Take the time to enjoy the whole person that you are, not just the Mom.
Sarah is a 41 year old wife and mother of two boys and one girl. She spent many years as a manager in the corporate world, and gave it up to be a stay at home mom.
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