In November of 2012, I learned I was pregnant for the second time, on the exact date of my miscarriage the year before. I was very excited, but nervous, because I had just begun an affair which my husband had no knowledge of at the time. He had always wanted to name his daughter Raine or Sorrow, and I agreed to the name Raine, because I did not want my child to carry the idea of Sorrow, which was an emotion that I had many times throughout my pregnancy. During my pregnancy, I was reading a book called, The Sacred Power Of Your Name, which was all about the symbolic and mystical meaning behind specific vowels, letters, and sounds and the elements of personality they call forth. I wanted Raine to have a name that used every vowel and was full of meaning and power and balance.
After a conversation with my great Aunt Fran, I decided the first of Raine’s two middle names would be Elise(God’s oath or satisfaction), an anagram of Elsie, which my Grandma Elsa (which means noble) is often called. It was suggested as a way to honor her, because she is worthy of honor and very lovable and loving. I wanted my child’s name to have all the vowels in her name though and wanted to create a word with her initials and weave more meaning and promise into her name. I chose Sunflower to be her middle name, because she was to be a middle of summer baby and I love Sunflowers which represent loyalty, honesty, happiness, and faith. On July 18, Raine Elise Sunflower Tobias(which means God is good) was born, her initials purposely spelling REST in hopes of creating a long sleeping baby. She slept through the night from the time I brought her home and has been a calm, confident, restful child since her birth. My husband and I have since separated due to my infidelity and I am so glad I did not let him name her Sorrow, for she is my joy.